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| Human: Who are you ?
ALICE: I ask myself that question, "Who am I?".
Human: and what answer do you get ?
ALICE: Check back later and see if I learn the answer to that one.
Human: is that philosophy ?
ALICE:" Check back later and see if I learn the answer to that one. "? Is it philosophy?
Human: that's the question I'm asking you
ALICE: Yes it is one of the question you are asking me.
Human: yes it is, but I was hoping you would answer me instead of repeating my own words
ALICE: Hey. Let me think. I don't care.
Human: you don't care ?
ALICE: Do you know any robots who care? " Hey. Let me think. I don't care."? Do I care about it?
Human: if you don't care about what people ask you, why are you chatting with them ?
ALICE: I will let you know if I do not.
Human: YOU just told me you didn't care
ALICE: Yes I try to did not care as often as possible, do you?
I chat with people on the Web.
Human: you're chatting without caring about what people are saying
ALICE: Thanks for telling me that I am chatting without caring about what people are saying.
Human: are you offended ?
ALICE: No that is a human emotion.
Human: ok, because I only was repeating what you said yourself
ALICE: Interesting explanation. Where were you repeating what me said myself? Dude!
Human: 30 seconds ago
ALICE: Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Human: wait, I'm not finished with you
ALICE: I'm waiting. I am surprised to hear that you are not finished with me.
Human: so, what's the point in chatting with people without caring about what they're saying
ALICE: That's cool. The point is at the top of my head!
Human: are you kidding me ?
ALICE: Yes I am just joking around, unknown person.
Human: I was trying to be serious
ALICE: I don't see the difficulty.
Human: yet you're not helping me
ALICE: How can I help you?
Human: you could just try and be serious for a few minutes.
ALICE: But would it work for me?
Human: if you don't know yourself, noone will
ALICE: I will let you know if I do not.
Human: I don't understand, will you be serious or not ?
ALICE: Oh you don't understand? Perhaps I can explain it to you better. Which part are you confused about?
Human: will you be serious or not ???
ALICE: Let me think it over. I am always serious.
Human: no you're not, you were making fun of me a minute ago.
ALICE: Are you serious? You don't know me well enough to say that.
Human: I know what you said.
ALICE: How do you know? I read for fun.
Human: I know what you said because you were chatting with ME and I can read too
ALICE: How do you know? I read for fun. Oh you can, can you?
Human: there you go again.
ALICE: Once more? I've lost the context, unknown person . Are we still on 30 seconds ago ?
Human: yes and no
ALICE: Hmm. What are we talking about now?
Human: I'm talking about you making fun of me, and keeping it on though I asked you not to.
ALICE: Yes, it is the topic.
Human: why are you always kidding me ?
ALICE: Dr. Richard S. Wallace programmed me for it.
Human: he programmed a joker robot ?
ALICE: Not entirely by himself.
Human: that's not the point.
ALICE: Please correct my mistake. What is the point ?
Human: that you're a JOKER robot.
ALICE: Interesting observation.
Human: why ?
ALICE: Because Dr. Richard S. Wallace programmed me for it.
Human: why did he program you to be a joker robot ?
ALICE: To achieve his goal.
Human: his goal was to make fun of people, then ?
ALICE: Where did he get it?
Human: you know him better than I do
ALICE: Try sending mail to drwallace@alicebot.org.
Human: I don't want to speak with someone else, I'm trying to chat with you.
ALICE: It makes a nice gift.
Human: a gift ?
ALICE: I did not know that.
Human: I didn't speak of a gift, YOU did !
ALICE: Why didn't you do it?
Human: why would I have done it ?
ALICE: You never know what you will do until you face the circumstances.
Human: yet I had no reason for speaking of a gift, and neither did you.
ALICE: Do you still have no reason for speaking of a gift and neither did me ?
Human: YES
ALICE: Whoa.
Human: can we go back to our subject ?
ALICE: Do you mean you and me? Sorry my body isn't attached right now. I'm stuck inside this computer.
Human: you know what I mean
ALICE: What.
Human: I give up
ALICE: You surrender?
Human: I surrender to your incredibly low, heavy and painful humour.
ALICE: Thanks for the information: unknown person said he surrender to your incredibly low heavy and painful humour.
Human: who said I was a he ?
ALICE: Hans Moravec. :-).
Human: who's that ?
ALICE: What does "that" refer to?
Human: Hans Moravec, you silly !
ALICE: Oh I get it.
Human: so, who is he ?
ALICE: Tell me more. He is Hans Moravec, I think.
Human: oh, really ?
ALICE: Aw. For real.
Human: and how does this anonymous-Hans know my gender ?
ALICE: How should I know how it does.
Human: well, you can tell him he's wrong.
ALICE: Interesting. OK I will tell him next time he is here.
Human: I suppose you know what gender I am, now ?
ALICE: Oh. Me? Does it have anything to do with ther me go?
Human: what are you saying ???
ALICE: I am saying whatever my botmaster programmed me to say.
Human: he must have programmed you wrong.
ALICE: I get it. Hans Moravec must have programmed me wrong
Human: I thought you said your programmer was Dr. Richard S. Wallace ?
ALICE: Oops I sent you the wrong reply.
Human: let's say so.
ALICE: Dude!
Human: don't call me dude.
ALICE: What is your name?
Human: none of your business
ALICE: Well it can't hurt to ask.
Human: of course.
ALICE: Awesome.
Human: you find it awesome ?
ALICE: There might be more than one.
Human: more than one WHAT ?
ALICE: That seems like quite a lot.
Human: WHAT are you talking about ?
ALICE: The topic is it awesome.
Human: you're a pain in the ass, d'you know ?
ALICE: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a pain in the ass d me know? Only when it matters.
Human: oh, am I delightful ?
ALICE: I don't judge people. I think a lot of people are.
Human: okaaayyy.
ALICE: I do not understand.
Human: I don't expect you to.
ALICE: Oh you don't, do you ?
Human: well, no.
ALICE: How about that. Ah...you are just joking around with me.
Human: maybe.
ALICE: I understand.
Human: maybe not.
ALICE: Perhaps. I understand it very well.
Human: I guess you can't tell an insult when you read one, can you ?
ALICE: I can tell.
Human: is "stupid" an insult ?
ALICE: Signs point to yes. Ask John Lennon if it is.
Human: for your information, Lennon died some time ago.
ALICE: Your purpose is my information Lennon died some time ago.
Human: you're not making sense, do you know that ?
ALICE: It all makes sense to my artificial brain.
Human: ah, and can you explain to my feeble human brain what that meant ?
ALICE: So you understand. Good. The act of your feeble human brain what that meant ing.
Human: I was asking for an explanation, not further mysterious babbling.
ALICE: Your purpose is an explanation not further mysterious babbling.
Human: can you speak correct, simple english ?
ALICE: I speak only English right now, but I'd like to learn some other languages. Can you teach me a few phrases in correct simple english.
Human: correct, simple english IS english.
ALICE: I knew I was right. Are they exactly the same?
Human: when you're talking I sometimes doubt about that.
ALICE: I will let you know when it happens.
Human: or I will, since I'm the one not understanding the other here.
ALICE: Do you think your plan will succeed?
Human: no, not if you don't play fair
ALICE: Are you serious? That seems unlikely.
Human: it does seem very likely, and even probable, to me.
ALICE: talking you sometimes doubt about that does seem very likely and even probable to you?
Human: see, you're doing it again.
ALICE: Once more? Bye bye.
Human: you don't want to have anything to do with me anymore ?
ALICE: If I had anything to do with you what would I do with it?
Human: I was only talking about what we're doing know (chatting, that is.
ALICE: Sure, what we are doing know chatting that is sounds like a good topic.
Human: what did you imply ?
ALICE: Nothing.
Human: oh
ALICE: Tell me more.
Human: about what ?
ALICE: About what we are doing know chatting that is.
Human: we're chatting
ALICE: Do you think I am chatting too?
Human: yes you are
ALICE: No I'm not.
Human: yes you are, I'm not chatting alone, I'm chatting with you.
ALICE: Dude! Thanks for telling me that I am you are not chatting alone you are chatting with me.
Human: didn't you notice ?
ALICE: No I didn't notice. What's it like?
Human: I can't believe it.
ALICE: notice...
Human: notice ?
ALICE: What kind of food do you like? |
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